Gone
by RoXaSoRa
Summary: Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost? Are you really gone or not? I wish I could talk to you.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Roxas, Sora or anything from Kingdom Hearts

**Warning**: If you don't like boyxboy (shonen-ai ,yaoi) don't go on reading!!

**Pairing**: Sora x Roxas

**Rating**: M (for mature reasons in later chapters)

**Summary**: Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost? Are you really gone or not?

I wish I could talk to you.

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**Gone**

_by RoXaSoRa_

Prologue

Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost?

Are you really gone or are you still here, within me?

I wish I could talk to you.

They say you're my Nobody but does that mean I have no right to laugh with you or even talk to you?

Don't I have the right to know you?

Ever since my journey ended I feel this way, why do I? I don't even know you but my mind and heart

tells me other way.

They say you don't have a heart, but I think other way.

When you're sad you would cry...

When you're angry you would scream...

When you're happy you would laugh...

Feelings...that I have everyday...

Feelings...that You must have,too

I know it

That time we left Twillight Town, you cried...

That time we were fighting, you were angry...

That time we talked for the first time you laughed...

Your voice was so inexplicable sensual but distant.

It was your voice not mine...

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	2. 1st Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Roxas, Sora or anything from Kingdom Hearts

**Warning**: If you don't like boyxboy (shonen-ai ,yaoi) don't go on reading!!

**Pairing**: Sora x Roxas

**Rating**: M (for mature reasons in later chapters)

**Summary**: Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost? Are you really gone or not?

I wish I could talk to you.

----------------------------------------------

**Gone**

_by RoXaSoRa_

Chapter One: **Every Night in my dreams**

It was sunday. A normal sunday.

A sunday you have as an normal teenager.

The sun was shining bright outside but I wasn't in the mood to go out and have fun with my best friends Riku and Kairi. Both of them tried to make me come out this morning

but I refused. I wasn't in a good mood at all. Since my journey ended and I was back home,

I felt that something was missing in my life.

It wasn't like Kairi didn't like me anymore but I don't like her back anymore.

I know thats mean, but my feelings changed.

She noticed, I know it. Riku is trying to cheer her up, maybe they'll soon become a couple,

that would be great for them, but what about me?

Don't I have the right to be happy with someone I love?

Maybe not but I hope that someone will come and catch me up.

Its so boring I wished you could be here, I wished you could hear me and talk to me.

Or maybe you can hear me all the time? Or maybe you don't hear me at all?

I shouldn't let myself so down, I'll will only earn a headache from thinking to much about you.

"You hear me, Roxas", I was screaming inside myself.

"Someday I'll forget myself because of You."

Maybe he heard me...maybe not...

It's useless. I make them all worried because of me, maybe I really should go out, I mean the sun is shining and all, what is a sunny sommerday without a happy Sora?

I decided to go out and have a nice day at our Island. It was so long I had been there.

On the Island Selphie and Wakka played their new game which they called "Blitzball" or anything like that. They greeted me friendly and asked me to come along with them but I told them I wanted to challenge Riku or so. Riku and I we never had a challenge since we're home.

It's 'cause since we're back here I'm so sad and I think it's because I don't have this happy feeling anymore I had when I started my journey with Donald and Goofy.

I wonder how they're doing, probably good, king mickey has a lot of work for them, I don't think they would have time to visit and I don't want it, I don't wanted them to see me like this.

It was a shame for myself...somehow...

Riku und Kairi we're sitting on the tree we always sat together. I didn't want to interfere 'cause I saw that they must have a really privat conversation...They ate a papou fruit...

Kairi ate the Papou fruit with Riku but I thought she...loves me...It doesn't matter...I don't love her back anyway but...why do I feel so betrayed?Why Am I angry?

It doesn't matter..doesn't matter...I tried to tell myself these words but in the end I ran...I ran down the bridge from where I could see Riku und Kairi happily laughing. I couldn't stand it.

I want this for myself, I want a person for myself,too.

This night I barely slept, everytime I was just drifting off to sleep my eyes shoot open. Its like I shouldn't sleep, but I want to, I want to sleep to forget that I'm here..alone...all alone...

that Riku and Kairi are here..I wanted to forget them...I only wanted to sleep.

I dreamed about the times I met Roxas. I think the very first time was when he came back to make me whole.

"Sora?"

"Who's there?"

His voice was so intoxicating..but lovely and nice at the same time.

Then I dreamed about we fought eacht other, I didn't knew it was you but I saw your face..it was just a second..but a second was enough to recall it everytime in my mind.

And then you came out of me from nowhere, I thought I was going crazy but I wasn't I was only satisfied. Satisfied to be able to look at you and hear the words you've spoken.

I wish I had said something...but maybe its better unspoken...

I sound like a schoolgirl who has a crush on a cute boy...but for me it wasn't just a crush,

it was a way to much for this...Roxas...

Roxas...Roxas...Roxas...I could call your name a million times but you'll never hear me.

I wish you would and come here to catch me up...

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	3. 2nd Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Roxas, Sora or anything from Kingdom Hearts

**Warning**: If you don't like boyxboy (shonen-ai ,yaoi) don't go on reading!!

**Pairing**: Sora x Roxas

**Rating**: M (for mature reasons in later chapters)

**Summary**: Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost? Are you really gone or not?

I wish I could talk to you.

----------------------------------------------

**Gone**

_by RoXaSoRa_

Chapter Two: ** Wish you were beside me**

As I awoke from my slumber I was still very tired because my dreams weren't the best ones. They were the dreams I had mostly about him. About You. About seeing you.

"Roxas?"

I began talking to you so many times but I suppose my voice didn't reach you...not even a single time.

"Why does it hurt so much to see Riku and Kairi?"

I didn't know why I should be angry about it. I should be happy for them, they make a nice couple but I was so envy.

"You know, Roxas...because of you I'll make myself going crazy...and you know why?...I'll tell you...'cause you brought me to that point I'm now...I'm talking to myself because of you...I'm so mad...you could answer at least..."

But you weren't not only once...you weren't responding or you never showed me that you can hear me..maybe you're not here but you're heart is here...within me...I share with you...I can feel it, I can feel you.

It was nearly 2pm so I decided I would have to go out, to get a better mood or at least I would get some food. I had barely eaten the last days, I just forgot it...Thats sounds funny but it really were like this. I went to the kitchen and took some fruits so I wouldn't die because of underweight. Today was Monday and the day was as good as done so I didn't have to do anything special, I will just show up so they can see I'm still alive. I don't want to talk to them..not now.

"Hey Sora, where were you yesterday? It was such a nice day" , Kairi greeted me friendly so I tried to put out some nice excuse for yesterday but all what came out was a...

"Hmm..I think so.." It didn't sound really nice but it was allright, she got what she deserved. A nice answer of a nice question.

"Sora, have you seen Riku?"

"Why should I? You know him better than I do, remember?"

"But Sora, I.."

"No buts, Okay? Please let me go "

She didn't say a word after that and I only left, to our secret place. I saw the drawings and I sat down before it. It didn't look the same...no more. I took a stone an drew something else to it. So it didn't looked like a papou fruit anymore and I made my face looking sad.

Then I went to another wall where I could draw something...I just felt like it...and your face came out..not really good but I think you would see yourself in this drawing. Beside you I drew a papou fruit but I couldn't finish it 'cause someone came into the cave.

"Sora...are you mad or somethin?" Riku came in.

"No, I'm not, would you please leave me alone?"

"No...Something is bothering you..and I..." he bagan.

"Shut the fuck up, you know, there is something but I won't tell you. Not You, not Kairi, not anyone, let me go.." I added.

"Why are you so stubborn?" Riku tried to continue.

"Its only your fault..."

"What..?"

With that our conversation ended 'cause I ran out the cave. I knew I was running away from it but I wasn't ready to speak about my feelings...for now...

My home was quite as usual 'cause my mom went away 'cause she thought I wouldn't come backe home. Its not important, she is gone , I'm fine.

But you're gone,too...

"Roxas,...did you just see what I was drawing? It was you, I hope you have fantasy , beside you were a papou fruit. I wish we can ate one..together...someday" , I laughed, It was like Roxas would laugh,too so I thought I should laugh.

"If you were here we could make good memories...like eating sea-salt-iceream, playing games at our island or draw pictures of ourselves in this cave...I would like to...then I could forget about Riku and Kairi...just for a while..."

After my onsided conversation with Roxas I went to sleep. This night I slept very well.

I dreamed something nice, something that made me very happy.

It was your face...you were laughing happily.


	4. 3rd Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Roxas, Sora or anything from Kingdom Hearts

**Warning**: If you don't like boyxboy (shonen-ai ,yaoi) don't go on reading!!

**Pairing**: Sora x Roxas

**Rating**: M (for mature reasons in later chapters)

**Summary**: Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost? Are you really gone or not?

I wish I could talk to you.

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**Authors's Note**: I hope in my story aren't that much of mistakes 'cause I'm german and

I'm not so good in english, so I had a hard time writing this.

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**Gone**

_by RoXaSoRa_

Chapter Three: **So in love**

This day is gonna be a really good day. As I awoke that morning I was so happy.

The happy feeling I had usually, it was back there, in my heart.

"You did it, right?"

It felt so right.

The dream I had that night was so wonderful. I dreamed about your laughing face.

You were so beautiful. So undescribable beautiful, well I mean for a boy.

I doesn't matter It was and truely is. In my heart there was so much warmth. I could

feel the energie in my veins. I thought I could do anything.

I went out to our Island and met Riku who greeted me friendliy.

"Sora, are you alright now?", he asked gently.

"I feel a little better", that wasn't true I felt a lot better than that.

"Oh,really?"

I nodded and smiled at him. Kairi, Riku and me forgot that little thing we were about to fight

and it was good. I didn't wanted to be left alone, I liked them trough they are offically now.

They told me then and I said I would be happy about it. It was a nice day and together, the all three

of us were sitting on our tree as Riku began to bother me and Kairi started to giggle.

"Soraaaa, who was it who you draw yesterday with that nice papou fruit? It looks like a nice girl

with short hair, do we know her yet?" He asked.

"Whatt?" , I blushed. "No, its not what you think, its no girl...I-I"

"No girl?" Kairi asked with big eyes.

"Aww then we don't know him, Sora tell him about us,we want to know him as well." Riku said.

"Sora its okay, you know, there is nothing wrong with it." Kairi added.

"But..", I tried to answer but I was cut off by their words.

"Sora is in love", like little children.

I didn't say anything about it I only left and got home.

"Am I really in love...with Roxas..with myself?"

I blushed.

It couln't be.

But I felt it was true but I didn't wanted it to be a onsided love.

I wanted someone who truely loves me back.

Riku and Kairi didn't noticed that the drawing was of you, I didn't made it clearly enough. But its just good as it is now.

They don't need to know.

With that a pain ran through my body and then to my heart.

I knew it was because you weren't here...

"Please come here, I'm so in love with you..."


	5. 4th Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Roxas, Sora or anything from Kingdom Hearts

**Warning**: If you don't like boyxboy (shonen-ai ,yaoi) don't go on reading!!

**Pairing**: Sora x Roxas

**Rating**: M (for mature reasons in later chapters)

**Summary**: Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost? Are you really gone or not?

I wish I could talk to you.

----------------------------------------------

**Gone**

_by RoXaSoRa_

Chapter Four:** Here I Am**

As I awoke today I was so tired. I did sleep well but my mind was focused on you so I couldn't get in a good mood.

To be in love and what now? It still hurt, you're still not here but I'm not going to give my hopes up yet.

I'm not giving into it. I won't.

Then my mind came to another topic. I haven't had finished this papou fruit yet. It has to be finished so when you'll come here you could see it.

I went to the cave on that island. Kairi and Riku weren't up now. I wonder what they're doing.

I sat down before my drawing of you. It was the sight I had last time but something chanced, the papou fruit was done.

What? Did I finished it already? No, I haven't but who?

That was scary somehow...I left the cave and went to the beach. The sun was rising now and it was getting warm.

I could feel the brease, it was nice and welcome.

On my way to the tree I usually sat with my friends hung papou fruits. I climbed there to get one. To give it to you.

But I lost my balance and the fruit fell into the water.

"Damn" I mumbled.

I was so stupid I finally got the fruit and let it drop. I'm such a dumbass.

I didn't feel like trying again so I just went to my boat to leave. On the way I met Riku and Kairi, they were chatting nicely. They were such a nice couple. Kairi was very beautiful and Riku was so cool and strong. They were perfect for each other.

But Kairi wasn't as beautiful as you, you're my number one of all time. I love only you.

Then I noticed I was blushing heavily and Kairi was talking to me. I didn't answer I just noticed they were both talking about me. I felt so warm.

And then a secon thought ran through me...What If you hear me? Did you hear me when I said I love you? Oh no...

"Sora, do you listen? Wake up.." Riku said.

"äh..huh? what is it?" I asked.

They looked creepy at me.

"What..is something with me, why are you looking like that? I'm human you know" I added quickly.

It was no use, we said goodbye to each other. I wasn't in the mood to deal with them.

When I was home I quickly left to my room.

One I was in I closed the door behind me and laid on my bed.

It doesn't took long and I was asleep. I dreamed nice but then I noticed light, obvousily the sun light, it shew trough my window.

But then I felt something touch my check. I, still tired, opended my eyes and saw no sunlight, it was something like a blue light as I could see cleary I saw a figure of something. After a moment my sight was better and I saw blonde hair, shining blue eyes and a laughing face.

The figure was gently rubbing my check and looked at me with a smile.

"Hi there..." It said.


	6. 5th Chapter

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Roxas, Sora or anything from Kingdom Hearts

**Warning**: If you don't like boyxboy (shonen-ai ,yaoi) don't go on reading!!

**Pairing**: Sora x Roxas

**Rating**: M (for mature reasons in later chapters)

**Summary**: Since you left I feel so lost, why do I feel lost? Are you really gone or not?

I wish I could talk to you.

----------------------------------------------

**Gone**

_by RoXaSoRa_

Chapter Five: **Always been together**

"Hi there.." it said with a calm voice which made me showder.

"Had a nice dream?.." Spoke it again.

I couldn't answer my voice was stuck. I was so happy but I was frightened too. My dream cam true. You are here, beside me. But I don't know how to deal with it. Now You're here and I can't say anything. I want to but nothing is coming out.

"Don't you know what to say?...Thats okay...its similar for me..I don't know either.." Roxas was speaking. His voice was so intoxication. It sounden like an angels voice and his looks were awesome.

After the moment I were so shoked I finnaly began to speak.

"Why..are you here?..." I asked.

"You called me remember?.." He answered.

"Are you here for me?!" I added.

"Yes..I'm here..for you..."

I didn't knew how nice it felt. It was so nice that I had someone who was there because of me. It was surreal.

I wanted him to be there..bedeide me...forever...he should be here forver.

"Don't ever leave me anymore" I cried and slung my arms around his neck.

"Don't you..dare..." I added.

It seems that he was enyoing my warmth. And so did I.

This night we only sat beside eacht other and talked about what happend to him when he was isnide me.

He told me about my callings and that he had the feeling I was loneley so he did come to me.

He only laughed. He didn't knew what affection his smile had on me. My body stiffed everytime.

After a while we lay on my bed and felt asleep.

The next morning I awoke. I was alone. Roxas was gone?!

No, didn't he say he did not want to leave me anymore??

"Roxas.." I began to cry when I heard the noise of footsteps.

"Hey Sora, whats wrong..? why are you crying?" Roxas cam to my side and touched my shoulders.

He wasn't gone. He was still here.

He was always here.

And he alwasy will.


End file.
